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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
bendoverman
Source: gerdaros

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valid-bastard
violentfutches

so a tourist in Italy is fulfilling her lifelong dream of seeing the birth of venus, her fave painting, in person. and while she’s there a Hot Girl strikes up a conversation with her and she loves art and is charming and they talk until the museum closes. they exchange numbers. the next day the birth of Venus painting is stolen, nobody knows who stole it. so anyways, the two girls continue dating and are happy and shit? and on their one year anniversary her girlfriend reveals that she’s an international art thief and she stole the birth of venus after meeting her. tourist girl flips and wants it returned she doesn’t want to just. hoard the art so nobody can see it. so then art thief has to do a reverse heist where she sneaks the painting back into the museum without getting caught

animate-mush

Bear in mind that the Birth of Venus is like 15 feet tall and 30 feet wide…

malcolmcooks

why would you have to do a reverse heist instead of like
thouroughly cleaning it of fingerprints, DNA and other trace evidence and then just quietly dropping it off round the back underneath a tarp and a note attached

violentfutches

because she’s gay and loves drama don’t ever question me again

lets-talk-about-sects

Botticelli would have wanted this and you know it

Source: violentfutches

So all year long there has been construction on the street where I work. They’ve been converting the intersection into a roundabout and I was pretty excited because I heard there would be a statue in the middle. Now, in the roundabouts where I grew up, there were pretty bronze statutes of deer and one of some kids I think so I was looking forward to seeing something lovely on my way to work.

But nope.

They decided to go with… a sperm jungle gym.

image
thanks San Antonio my boyfriend agrees that's exactly what it looks like 😐 statue art san antonio satx texas funny awkward story construction sperm jungle gym
yournewapartment

Anonymous asked:

What are some actionable steps I can take to make my studio apt feel like a home?

yournewapartment answered:

Oooh I like this question, as I’m in the same boat! Here are a few ideas:

  • frame pictures, art, or posters and put them on the wall
  • if you can afford it, get at least one piece of furniture that isn’t IKEA or Target. I have a nice plush reclining chair from Macy’s and I love it!
  • rugs, throw blankets, pillows, and window curtains make a space more cozy
  • live plants!!! and fresh cut flowers!!!!
  • open your windows, get fresh air!
  • can you afford/do you want/do you have space for a pet? Getting a kitty helped me feel more at home!
  • because studios are so small, you’re not going to be able to have a designated laundry area, designated linens area, designated pantry, designated pet storage area (if you have a pet), designated bathroom storage, etc. I like to use closets, cabinets, and under-the-bed storage to keep clutter and stuff out of the way!

Hope this helps!– Mimi

apartment aesthetic
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